Ok, admit it, you are sick and tired of Myst and its legions of imitators. You have had your fill of pretentious, vividly-rendered, quasi-mystical games featuring yet another oh-so-original dial-and-levers puzzle. Sure we will all line up for the next installment from the brothers Miller (well, many of us will), but don’t you just want to bang their heads together just a little?
If you do, you are not alone. Parroty Interactive, clearly riding this wave of Myst-backlash, has created what will certainly be THE stocking-suffer for computer gamers this year. “Pyst” is a mostly witty, occasionally brilliant, and delightfully mean-spirited satire of the most overblown cultural phenomenon ever to hit computer gaming. Co-written and directed by Firesign Theater’s Peter Bergman and starring John Goodman as King Mattruss, Pyst answers the hypothetical question, “what if all those millions of gamers actually visited the pristine island of Myst?” The answer it proposes is, being human beings, we’d trash the place!
 
Let’s Get Pyst
Pyst Island is a mess; its hills are covered with garbage, its water green with sewage, and most everything has been clicked into oblivion. A group of alien squatters have moved into the rocket ship, the observation tower has been converted into a fun slide, and the pillar garden now sports a gigantic TV. What’s worse, the Octoplex Corporation has bought the island and promised to transform it into an oppressively bland family-friendly bedroom community.
Let’s make this clear from the outset, Pyst is not a game; it is simply a click-fest. Presented as a series of picture post cards of the decimated Pyst island, the game depicts a variety of familiar scenes from the original Myst. Your tour is narrated by Bob and Cheryl, your so-perky-you’ll want-to-pull-your-own-head-off, Octoplex guides. They will be happy to tell you in excruciating and saccharin-sweet detail what the island will look like when Octoplex gets through with it. You will also get to see (by clicking on the top and bottom of each screen) some postcards written by folks who have visited the island in its less than vividly-rendered state—not what you would call happy campers. Do not forget to check out the absolutely unhelpful but rather amusing help screens.
 
Some of the jokes are quite juvenile (animals relieving themselves play a prominent role), but the lion’s share are witty and subtle. In the library you can see those blasted red and blue books getting their due and behind the bookcase are two chalk outlines of bodies with the initials R.M. between them. This is not kind satire, but it is darn funny. Most of the humor centers on Myst, but some reaches a bit further afield. Pyst pokes fun at computer gaming in general and eventually begins taking pot shots at other societal targets. The ads that run on the pillar garden’s TV screen are pure Firesign Theater material and the Octoplex banter is a viciously funny take on corporate blandness (this time, Bob tells you, visitors will enjoy Pyst Island “in an orderly Octoplex kind of way”).
The fun in Pyst, however, is not limited to the game itself. You can also take a peek at “The Making of Pyst”, a movie that has almost as many laughs as the “game” itself—run through it only after you have thoroughly explored, however, since it will ruin some jokes. Watch as a staff member tries in vain to convince you that the name of the game is supposed to rhyme with “heist”. John Goodman fans will be able to hear him in rare form singing the stirring theme song, “I’m Pyst”. Registered users will have a direct link to the members-only parts of Parroty’s Web site featuring sounds, pictures, miscellaneous information, and hints. Best of all, however, is the page which allows you to send Pyst postcards, with customized messages, to folks over the Internet. Taunt your favorite Myst fan and be sure to remind them that they will have to wait at least 8 months before they can play Myst 2!
Final Analysis
Pyst has its share of lead balloons, but plenty of gut-wrenchingly funny humor as well. The visuals are spot-on renditions of the real scenes gone horribly wrong. In all, Pyst is a technologically strong product skillfully written and performed by professional comedians (whoever plays Octoplex guide, Cheryl, should get some kind of award). At a ridiculously low $14.95, its shortcomings fail to prevent Pyst from being a must-have. Parroty promises that if Pyst is a success, they will produce a whole series of multimedia satires. Humor like this is worth encouraging.
Pros
• Clever, on-target humor aimed at Myst, computer games, and more
